Miserable Journey For Home
by crazy chocolate gal
Summary: As the fire dragon fell,the stressed out FE7 army finds themselves on another winding path of pure idiocy and retardness for home with 2 soontobesenttothementalhospital as tacticians.WARNING:Nonsence and painful cries from Sain and Erk are included


Crazy Chocolate Gal: Hey people! As you can see, this is where we torture everyone and ideas are warmly welcome. My cousin and I are the tacticians Sellyn and Stellar respectively .In the mean time…let the nightmare begin. Muhahahah…cough cough

Stellar: Sellyn, please do the disclaimer.

Sellyn: I don't want to. Nils can do that.

Nils: I don't want to and you can't make me. Sticks out tongue

Stellar and Sellyn: Do it or else! (Whips out sword and lance)

Nils: Eep ! Umm…Crazy Chocolate Gal does not own fire emblem.

Whimpers please don't kill me ... please don't kill me ...

Chapter 1 Trouble Around the Corner

'Arrghhhhhh…' with the ear splitting cry, the last fire dragon fell to the ground dead.

Eliwood, doubting the fact that it was dead, took a fragile, nearby stick and poked the corpse of the dragon from a distance of 36.758564 cm.

The entire army watched and waited for his verdict.

Eliwood looked up and nodded his head slightly and the entire army was in chaos. Again.

" Victory!!! " yelled Hector, trying to do a victory dance (which really looked like a gorilla losing it's balance and was swinging sideways) while retrieving his Armads, which was still buried in the fiery beast's neck.

" Wait a minute … we still have our journey back… WITH THOSE TWO PHYCOS THAT PROUDLY CALL THEMSELVES TACTICIANS!!! "

Hector practically whispered front phrase and screamed at the back … therefore, the whole army could hear him, along with their two oh-so loveable tacticians which one of them just grabbed an eclipse and it came shooting down to the blue haired lord's side.

" Watch that mouth of yours 'my lord'..." snarled Sellyn and Stellar nodded in agreement, looking through Forblaze with great interest.

It sometimes amazed Hector how the tacticians' could make their sentences sound rude and polite at the same time ... or maybe it's just him.

"You can't use that!"

"You wanna try?" Stellar said a bit too sweetly.

"I dare you too." Hector retorted.

" Bing Bong ... WRONG ANSWER!!! "

Sellyn whipped out a Fenrir and blasted till there are no uses left. Stellar stood clapping while closing her eyes, too much violence...

" Mummy … I am scared …" half of the army whimpered

"HERE!!!" Louise popped out of nowhere and the army sweatdropped

" Erm … Daddy?"

"Present!!!" Pent, Dorcas, Hawkeye teleported out of nowhere … and the army was sweatdropped a river.

" Grandmother?"

" Did anyone call me?" Hanna came from an far away island and came to this island by a motorboat and the army was either crying or rolling on the floor now.

" G-g-grandfather???"

" Yes?" Athos revived from the dead and the army was opening and closing their mouths like goldfishes.

" St. Elimine … please help us …"

" Sorry… I am at a ball… so I'm busy … well, see ya …" an unfamiliar echo filed the place.

There was no reply or reaction from the army as most of them fainted, most trying to wake the ones fainted and a little prayed … not to the gods or goddesses that passed by, but prayed for themselves and hoped they could at least survived the next five to six months with these people whom you call fiends … yes, without the 'R' …

* * *

"Alright people, we will be staying here for a awhile since Fargus would only be coming in 1 hour's time." Said Stellar,

"So while we are here, no funny business or suffer... Are we clear?" continued Sellyn.

In an hour's time

" Nooooo!!! I don't want to go on the ship!!!" wailed Stellar, clinging on to a very bent looking tree.

"Then stop being stupid and let go of the poor tree! " screamed Sellyn tugging at her failing boots.

Taking advantage of the older tactician's screaming, Guy was going to sneak away until an arrow came flying near his boots.

Forgetting about the poor bent tree, Stellar stood with 5 arrows notched on her bow and screamed hysterically scaring the poor boy.

"You are under my command thus, you will not slip away scot-free and leaving me to the horrors of the stupid ship!!! Disobey and your blood WILL smear my blade!!! (Including my arrows)"

Guy hurriedly scrambled on the ship thinking that he rather be seasick than have a whole quiver of arrows and an iron sword in his head courtesy of the pink clad tactician or rather, pink loving tactician.

Somewhere in the middle of somewhere someone muttered, " Wow, she sounds like Karel." 25 arrows simultaneously came aiming at his head; he ducked two and promptly got smacked by the other three and that's when the other 20 came ... he dodged them looking as if

he was dancing the Rain Dance. Which isn't VERY civilized.

"I heard that Leagult!" Stellar screamed as Sellyn tried VERY hard in pulling her precious cousin up the ship, or at least near the ship since she was preoccupied.

Karel appeared out of nowhere from the shadows carrying a sword stained with dried blood.

" YOU have ruined my name. Knock yourself against that wall that appeared out of nowhere NOW!!! Disobey and your blood SHALL and WILL smear my blade!!! "

"Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch ... " Leagult did what he was told.

" Ooookaaaay ... HEY!!! WHY AM I ON THIS SHIP??? AHHHH!!! " Screamed Stellar

On the Ship

" AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! " a banshee like scream came from nearby, I bet you thought it was Guy, but NO!!! It was Matthew. A Matthew covered in Guy's digested breakfast also known as, vomit.

" I don't feel so good... " Stellar said and the next thing she knew, she ALMOST vomited on Sellyn who grabbed the person nearest to her which is Leagult and the vomit was on HIM.

Stellar ran to the ladies as she felt another round coming.

Priscilla was chasing after her to see if she could help.

Guy was chasing Priscilla for her to heal him.

Raven was chasing Guy for killing purposes.

Lucius was chasing Raven because (s)he broke his/her fingernail and wanted to tell raven how miserable (s)he is.

Serra was chasing Lucius to tell him/her about her new purple nail polish.

In some way or another, the whole army was involved. Well, almost the whole army.

" This is chaos ... a riot ... " Kent slapped his forehead.

" I agree, the whole world is falling into bits and pieces ... " Erk replied.

" It is going to be unless Sain brings me chocolate now ... " A VERY scary Sellyn popped beside both of them and the three looked at each other.

"CHOCOLATE!!!" With that, the ladies door swung open and Stellar stood at the doorway with starry eyes. She practically teleported to Sellyn's side and looked at Sain to produce the oh so delicious coca delight.

Sain in his usual flirtous tone said, " Milady, you are looking splendid today. Oh, what am I talking about! You look splendid on any days of the week, BUT you look MOST radiant today. Oh ... If you would just NOT kill anybody in the army today, YOU ARE A SAINT!!! '

"Shut up and give us the chocolate already!" the cousins said holding their weapons in a very threatening manner.

With a great flourish he pulled out …thin air.

"Wait! Its…not…there…pleasedon'tkillmeI'mtooyoungtodieyet!!!" pleaded the green lance.

Stellar looked confused, "What is the last sentence?"

The raven-haired tactician understood and somberly explained to her baffled red headed cousin " He is asking us to spare his pathetic, moldy and miserable life because he did not buy enough chocolate or rather ... DIDN'T BUY ANY!!! "

"Oh…"came the reply, Stellar just gave Sellyn and Sain a sweet smile which the younger tactician Sellyn returned with a evil grin.

Without warning, they threw Sain overboard…in his full armor and holding a heavy spear, WHICH IS VERY HEAVY ...

Sain would have drowned but Stellar used her rescue staff to teleport him in front of them, soaking wet.

Sain begun " Thank you milady Stellar! You are a goddess, a saint, an angel of great beauty sent by St Elimine herself to guide us! "

Putting on a very innocent face, Stellar said, "We wouldn't let you drown…" Sain looked very happy and started his fantasy of living happily ever after.

" Cause we still need a person to carry and buy our chocolate…but this time ... you will be buying it using YOUR OWN MONEY AS PUNISHMENT!" those last five words echoed through the perverted knight head and he thought," Those two are really witches despite their beauty, I prefer drowning…"

The tacticians read his thoughts (A/N:I know we can't read minds so just bear with me kay?)

Sellyn was about to blast him apart with flux when Stellar stopped her, " Can I do that Sellyn?" she nodded. Stellar started casting thunder until the poor book broke.

Ignoring the almost dead caviler, she started her mini science lesson," Water conducts electricity. Thunder equal electricity. Sain is soaking wet and his armor is metal. Sain in much pain. " Stellar ended with a cute grin. Both started laughing.

Making use of their laughter, Sain crawled towards Kent for help. As Kent handed Sain a vulnery he had a BIG smile pasted on his face. "Hm…I guess its not so bad after all…"

"Oh shutup!"

* * *

Stellar: How is it? I rewrote the chapter as I think many people don't understand what we are talking about. I hope its more clear now. Please review. I'll appreciate it. 

Sellyn: In case you are wondering why we can use different types of weapons it will be explained in the next chapter.


End file.
